The ever-thought-inducing +Tracy Hurley pointed out that, here in the United States, March is Women's History Month. So instead of following +Curt Thompson onto the barbecue about GM's Day (I'll talk about that later), I'd start the morning talking about the experience I've had as a male playing games with females. I realized as I was thinking about this that I've had extraordinary luck with my game tables and GLBT players, but I've been less-than-stellar about playing with women (and people of colour, but that's a different conversation). 

I went to an all-male High School, which was when I got seriously into gaming, so my ability to play with women at the table was pretty curtailed until after I moved to San Francisco. There, when I managed to find the group of people that to this day form the core of my friendships, we usually had one or two women in each game, and my memory is that I wasn't fundamentally terrible or sexist (well, no more so than usual). I was also, at the time, in a Live Action Roleplaying Game of Vampire, and there were several women there, including at least three that were basically the Big Players in the game, and one of who became, effectively, my patron and mentor in the game. 

In Chicago, I was able to manage at least one woman in the games I ran, though in one of the groups in which I played it was just the four guys including me.

When I finally settled in Portland, OR, the group I eventually joined and adopted as my own was made almost entirely of gay men, so merely the opportunity to include women just wasn't there. Now, thanks to the wonders of OKCupid, my significant other +Jean Bees is a permanent part of any game I run or play in. I'd like to think that I'm careful and respectful at the table both as a player and as a GM, though you'd have to ask her. But I don't think I'm particularly sexist — not that this is a particular ringing endorsement, considering how low a bar that is — and I try to be respectful to all views and positions in general, a woman's perspective included in that, though I often wonder if I'm doing a reasonably good job.

From my perspective, I've endeavoured to treat women at my table as players and people and friends before ever considering them as a player, whatever gender or sexuality or, really, anything else. As I've gotten older, I've gotten more extreme with my feminism (and recognized just how much of my "feminism" is harmful to women, for that matter) which takes effort and time to work out. I try to keep my politics out of the game, and focus on the fun; sometimes that works, other times it doesn't. I would hope that the women who have gamed with me would be positive about my work as a fellow player and GM, but I assume, because I'm male and white and therefore significantly privileged, that I could do better. Which as a GM and fellow player isn't a bad motto to have: do one's best, have fun, try to do better to the people around you.

Not a bad motto for a human being, really. Remembering that first and formost, women are human beings, not an API. 

#ToM